Stitches
by Calatoria
Summary: Young Findis has many questions, and her mother is the only person she can ask.


As a child, Findis often feels lonely in the vastness of the palace, with only her parents and a few servants for company. She doesn't like to be by herself, and sometimes she gets lost; her bedroom is too far from her parents' if she should have a bad dream during the night. But in the daytime, her mother is her constant companion. She braids Findis' hair and teaches her to read and to embroider, and the little girl takes to both with such enthusiasm that both of her parents are amazed and proud of her.

Sometimes she wonders how her father must have felt, living there all by himself for years and years. That must be why he married Mother, she thinks. She's not sure exactly why she feels she must justify it to herself, but sometimes she hears things. About a time when her father was not alone or married to Mother, but married to someone else.

She realizes quite quickly that the mystery woman must be Fëanáro's mother. Fëanáro is her brother, her father says, but he does not live with them because he is completing his apprenticeship, and it's easier for him to work if he lives with his master's family. Fëanáro doesn't visit very often, but when he does, he always calls Mother by her first name, which he would never do if she was his mother, too.

But though she is curious, Findis doesn't want to ask Fëanáro about it; he scares her. Fëanáro never smiles, except sometimes when he is talking only to Father. He looks at her as though she is some kind of annoying pet or unsightly houseplant, something to be tolerated only because he cannot make her go away without offending his hosts. She doesn't want to ask her father, either, because he has never mentioned this woman to her before, and it might make him sad. So she asks her mother about it, one day while they sit at their embroidery in the late afternoon, enjoying the summer breeze from the open window in the queen's sitting room.

"Who is Fëanáro's mother?" Findis asks, feeling ashamed that she does not even know the woman's name.

Her mother looks up with genuine surprise on her face. "Fëanáro's mother? Her name was Míriel. Míriel Þerindë. They called her that because of her skill at embroidery. You would have liked her; she was very kind."

Findis takes in this new information, finding that with this one question answered, hers have multiplied. _Where is Míriel now? Why did you and father get married? Why did you say her name so oddly?_ Sometimes Findis' mother calls her "Serindë" when they are alone, because of the way Findis becomes utterly absorbed in her embroidery, though she never says it when Father is around. Míriel's name contains the same word, but with a sound Findis knows from her Vanyarin relatives but has never heard before in Tirion - except, she realizes now, when Fëanáro comes to visit.

Indis reads the questions in her daughter's face, and says, "Míriel died before you were born, before I married your father. When she was a girl, the Noldor still spoke as the Vanyar do, but years later their language changed, as languages sometimes do." (She smiles when she sees Findis' eyes widen as she takes in this new information - _Languages change? Why? How?_ - and resolves to find her daughter a book on basic linguistics as soon as she has the time.) "Míriel wished to continue speaking as she had when she was a child, and to have her name pronounced in the old way."

Findis wants to ask how Míriel died - death is such a foreign topic to her, and she cannot quite find the words for such a question. Indis pauses for a moment, then says, "She is with Mandos in his Halls now, and agreed to stay there when your father and I fell in love and wanted to be married." And it is clear now that this is all Findis' mother will say on the subject.

Findis isn't sure that all her lingering questions have been answered, but she keeps quiet and returns to her work, turning everything she has just learned over in her mind. They sit in silence for a while until Indis sets down her embroidery and stands up, beckoning her daughter to join her. "Would you like to see some of Míriel's work? I know we have some in the palace."

Findis nods eagerly, and follows her mother out of the room and down to one of the galleries. Indis points out a wall hanging that Findis has seen before, a picture of a woman with stars on her robe whose dark hair fans out and becomes the night sky - Varda Elentári. The level of detail leaves Findis breathless.

"If I work hard enough, do you think one day I could make something this wonderful?"

Her mother takes Findis' hand and squeezes it tightly. "Of course you can."


End file.
